Motherhood - a role or the only role?

ABSTRACT

This paper deals with the core phenomenon through which patriarchy is perpetrated in Indian society - via the control of feminine sexuality. It explores the various narratives that society feeds women including ones about being subservient and obeying the men in their lives. Marriage, an institution which should in an ideal and fundamentally free world represent a sense of comfort, performs the exact opposite function in Indian society. Additionally, it analyse the text ‘Enforcing Cultural Codes: Gender and Violence in Northern India’ by Prem Chowdhary, by highlighting the social evil of violence that follows inter-caste marriages in the Indian context. Inter caste marriages are examples of women flouting the norms set by society and exercising control over their sexuality by deciding who they wish to marry. In conclusion, the paper looks at the way this act instead of being seen as an act of freedom is seen as an act of audacity - an act which challenges set hierarchies and social constructs. Women in Indian families and societies are seen as carriers of kin, and bearers of children - sadly that is where their role ends. This paper is an examination of this precise role and the consequences of not adhering to it.

Marriage is perhaps the most important decision to be taken in a person’s life. Lovd and compatibility are important factors to be taken into consideration. However the society we live in today qualifies the idea of marriage as synonymous to that of a transaction. Marriage in India represents honor, pride and most of all status. All customs involved in hindu marriages symbolise these ideas. The ‘Kanyadaan’ or gift of the virgin is said to free a father of all his sins and grant him purity; Dowry or rather the amount of dowry denotes the status, both economic and social, of the bride’s family; and so and and so forth. But before the customs of the wedding step in with their patriarchal hues, the fixing of the marriage in itself is representative of these cultural, orthodox, caste norms. Prem Choudhry in his article “Enforcing Cultural Codes: Gender and Violence in India” discusses the plight of those marriages in Haryana which breach or transgress the norms of village and clan exogamy. The one crime that goes neglected by the mainstream populous is the one that is faced by those who attempt inter-caste or inter-class marriages. These marriages are seen as a direct opposition to culture, or rather the disrespect of it and therefore the couple is usually at the receiving end of violence and ‘punishment’. This could range from public lynchings, direct beating up and even murder. The women in the equation are at the receiving end of this violence more often than not.

This essay examines a vital link between gender and caste. The interrelation between caste and kinship roles interests Choudhry. He examines the structural link that marriage provides to kinship and caste, and further hoe kinship ties are created within the ambit of marriages. Given that these kinship relations gift caste groups with a sense of identity, pride and leverage in society, these kinship ties are the rule of the land for these caste groups. Now, how are kinship ties created? What gives authenticity to these leverages and claims? Marriage. Therefore the concrete base for the “status” of these groups is a transaction between two families involving a religious ceremony that declares two individuals as man and wife. However, even in this almost mathematical transaction, the woman is the pawn. The control over her sexuality, purity and life grants purity, status and power to these patriarchal caste groups.

With the advent of globalisation and the economy becoming the center of society, class divisions have added another caveat to this struggle of honor. While the new generation with upwardly mobile groups distances itself, or at least tries to distance itself from these practices and codes, violence is used as a means by the traditional caste groups. They impose moral judgements of what is allowed and what isn’t, what is considered ok and what isn’t and further to what extent one can choose their life partner in the limited

pool of options they create. The judgements and their violation thereof has resulted in the most brutal killings in the 21st century, in North India.

In March 1991; when Roshni, a jat girl of village Mehsana in western UP ran away with Brijendra, a low caste jatav boy, assisted by his friend, the jat panchayat sat in judgement on them and their crime. Under its decree, they were tortured the whole night, hanged in the morning and then set on fire, two of them still alive. The entire village was a witness to this savage and brutal murder;

In April 1991, in village Khedakul of Narela (north Delhi), Poonam, a jat girl, was shot dead by her uncle in broad day light for having an ‘illicit relationship with another jat boy of the same village;

In 2004, when Chetan eloped with Pinky, the daughter of an influential Yadav family, the Tevatia Khap ordered the gang rape of the former‟s mother as a vindication to the dishonor brought to the Yadavs ;

In September, 2006, the Bombak Khap declared the newborn to Pawan and Kavita as illegitimate, due to their Sagotra marriage and sold their baby to a childless couple and forced the parents to live as siblings ;

On 14 June, 2007, Manoj and Babli of Banwala Jat community in Karore village, were brutally executed on grounds of committing a sacrilege i.e. marrying within the same clan ;

On 9 May, 2008, Om Prakash along with nine others, tied the hands and legs of his pregnant daughter and her husband, Jasbir, and ran them over by a tractor for their crime of incest;

The aforementioned instances shed light on the kind and degree of violence these couples are subject to. At this point it therefore becomes important to understand what constitutes a crime in the books of the khap panchayats, why the police isn’t interfering and why these traditional norms become so important in rural India.

At the onset, it becomes important to define a khap panchayats. These caste panchayats have emerged as extra-constitutional bodies, which under the guise of maintaining and upholding honour of the community, formulate conservative diktats and fatwas based on patriarchal norms and principles. The chauvinistic and misogynistic structure of this extra-judicial body,makes its ideologies and attempts focused towards upholding ‘izzat’ under the paradox of the ‘politics of honour’ i.e. performing

dishonourable acts to maintain dignity and self respect, and subordinating and exploiting women, by making ‘personal, the political’, through the ’politics of control and progress’.

These khap panchayats determine which ties are legitimate and which ones violate caste norms. They use the metric of understanding the “gotra” and respecting it. The gotra determines the familial background and therefore the marriage prospects of an individual. Gotra’ is an exogamous patrilineal clan whose members share a patrilineal descent from a common ancestor. Within this ‘Sagotra’ or marriages within the same gotra are forbidden as people from the same lineage are considered siblings and therefore this is deemed as inscest. Marriages between different gotra are prohibited if the boy and girl belong to the same village or physically adjoining villages. Inter-caste marriage is another big no no in the books of khap panchayats. Therefore these bodies have assumed the position of legislators, executors as well as adjudicators of retributive justice, in the villages of Punjab, Western Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, rural areas of National Capital Region and most predominantly, Haryana.

The pertinent question now is about the interference or its lack by the police. Police in north india drawn from upper caste dominant groups. There exists a complicity between the perpetrators of violence and the police about the “justice” done for the sake of “Honour”. These police officers believe that a) these social issues must be dealt with by caste leaders and caste judgements and b) these caste and social norms guide behaviours and therefore their violation must be punished in the most gruesome manner. Given that these norms dictate life in north India, when faced with cases regarding honor killings and violence, police officers and courts often declare the perpetrators as innocent due to the ‘lack of evidence’.

It is hence logical to conclude that ideas of honour dictate life both socially and culturally in North India. Caste/community honour has most often been appropriated appropriated by the upper castes. Lower groups/castes are not recognised due to their weak socio-economic. They are vaguely allowed to share in the honour of the village as a whole, they therefore become hypersensitive in defending it within their own caste. However, the concept of honour is neither accepted nor applied uniformly by all caste and status groups. Any infringement of honour invites group pressure and violence. Violence hence underlines the existing ideology of honour. Within this idea of honour too, there exists a kind of fragmentation. The honour that is carried by the daughter is seen as extremely important. Her misconduct could land her family in a state wherein they are unable to show their face to the entire ‘biradari’ or community.

As explained above, not only are inter caste marriages punished, intra caste marriages and the subsequent ‘punishments’ they lead to form a large part of the data on honour killings and murders. Within villages terms like ‘bhai’ ‘behen’ are promoted, to enforce the idea that everyone in this vicinity is bound by ties of brotherhood and sisterhood. Marriages or relationships that then exist are seen as insecstuous. The one concern that drives these moves? The idea of status. Marriage alliances are a significant way of establishing a family’s status in society. Even if say the family approves of the alliance, if the khap panchayat annuls it, the marriage is over. If the couple still attempts to live together (even with the support of parents), a social boycott of the family is ordered and at times the couple is executed, if not the man, the woman always is.

Natural, biological bonds of kinship are often sacrificed for higher ends of morality and honour. However this phenomenon isn’t new. Inter caste alliance were not entirely uncommon in the colonial period. It was a confined secondary alliance rather than primary. In subsistence economy of this Indian region with its highly adverse female-male ratio, agriculturalists who economically hard pressed were known to take wives among the lower caste as well. The agricultural castes didn’t look down upon lower caste women who became their wives. They couldn’t afford to attach undue importance to caste impurity. However, taking wives from low castes never became a norm as such nor was practised on a wide scale.

In 2018, restrictions are now relaxed a little. Considerations of class and status allow a certain amount of flexibility or space to move around in. However, this ‘modern’ change remains confined to the urban areas. The general rural opinion strongly disapproves such alliances.

Now to the question of why these marriages are annulled or seen as such grotesque violations: it is attempt to retain power by caste leadership - fast eroded by the new legal system based upon different principles. Their assertion of united power and domination, gives upper caste senior male members levy or control over younger men and women within that caste group. They seek to protect fast eroding ‘traditional values’ and therefore any open dissent with or inability to punish those who break the norms is not easy to live down.

The last question that hence needs to be answered is that given this opposition against marriage by the khap panchayats is one against the couple as a whole, including both men and women, why are women at the receiving end of more brutality and violence? To this we get a two fold answer.

First, the ideology of female guardianship is essentially an ideology of control. Women are simply tools in this world constructed by men, simple objects that carry pride and honour from one family to another and there fore all efforts are made to tie them up and keep them hidden until required.

Second, the fact that the woman carries the baby and therefore the kinship ties. A women’s reproductive and productive labour is therefore intrinsically linked up with the control of her sexuality. The decision for its bestowal is crucial to patriarchal considerations of status. Given the contemporary push towards equality and equal division of property amongst sons and daughters, transference of land also plays a vital role in match making.

To conclude, it is fair to point out three major inferences. First , the fact that this high magnitude of control through continuous domination, has lead to innumerable deaths both my murder and often self-inflicted violence by means of committing suicide with the aim of attaining spiritual and eternal freedom.

Second, that these retrogressive and unconstitutional parallel law enforcing agencies, colloquially addressed as ‘Khap Panchayats’, have plagued India with violence. In their quest to maintain a socially constructed idea of honour and to maintain a higher moral ground, they are murdering innocents.

Third, patriarchy will always find the way to make the balance of any equation worse off for women.

Shagun Sethi
Eesha Patel