Woman and Family

Woman and Family

Nitleen Kaur

You might expect that this paper is going to talk about the hardships, struggles and the obstacles a woman faces in a family. But no, this paper will emphasize what a woman CAN DO and HAS DONE as a member of the family and how ‘she’ empowers herself by breaking the shackles of restriction and the deep rooted stereotypes against her with respect to her role in a family. We will highlight in this paper, every contribution made by a woman often subdued because it is about time, we explore the positive connotation of a woman’s role in a family. A woman has adopted umpteen numbers of roles and has lived up to all of them. Each of a woman’s contribution has been normalized as a duty or a responsibility without giving her the due credit which is often taken by others.

A woman is a key contributor to the quality of living in a family and helps in the sustainable development of the family. She often stands as a support system and a pillar of strength to each and every member of the family along with taking care of her as well. She adopts the role of an administrator, a leader, an organizer and all the biological roles which she is bound to naturally adopt. She often takes the role of an emotional comforter irrespective of how she is feeling. A woman’s capability for handling her work, household chores and the family members is often taken for granted. Such a capability requires some unique set of powers which only a woman can smoothly operate. Within the familial firm, a woman plays a pivotal role and is a medium of family culture which is associated with collectivistic values of sharing, cooperation and respect.

Out of all the roles a woman adopts, her role of being a housewife is often taken for granted but as a housewife, she dedicates herself wholeheartedly to the chores and the family members. This is often taken as doing ‘nothing’ but she is the one that lays the base or the blue print of any plan or event to materialize. For instance, she even directs the recreational activities and organizes the social functions leading for social development of the family. Another role of the woman which is often undermined is being the manager of the family income. She judiciously segregates the income and divides it according to different heads including comforts, necessities and luxuries. Such efforts talk volumes about a woman and how her mind works in all spheres even if people consider a woman lacking the abilities to manage the finances. She is the real all rounder who manages and takes up so many responsibilities and is still criticized or is taken as not good enough for the responsibilities she shoulders with grace and dignity and performs them without leaving any stone unturned.

Another role of a woman which is often criticized is her being an unmarried woman and coming out to be a ‘burden’ to her own biological family. Even an unmarried woman makes contributions financially as well as emotionally to her parents and siblings who is often taken in a negative light and the only aim of the family remains to get her married rather than accepting and respecting her contributions towards everyone at home. Women are the primary caretaker of their children and this marks the very essential role a woman takes up which is of a mother. The mother is the one who is the main influencer in a child’s life. A mother is the one who urges her children to attend school regularly and participate in co-curricular activities as compared to men.Her contact with the child during the most formative period of his or her development set up their behavior pattern. She is thus responsible for the maintenance of utmost discipline in the family. The mother, because of her intimate and sustained contact with the child, she is able to discover and nurture child’s special traits, aptitudes and attitudes which subsequently play a key role in the shaping of his personality. A woman takes initiative and self-reports more often about self-preserving health and nutrition for her entire family. Even when a woman is denied education, she is the one who takes initiative and is aware about what is right for her children and her entire family. She has the largest role in decision making about family meal planning and diet. Often some women have shown that they can be stronger than men by taking on others roles as well not by choice for example: single parenting, poverty where no work for men and women work the streets, illness and even religion at times. 

Her role as a wife is often taken as a ‘given’ or something she is bound to perform. The first step where a woman deserves respect is the day she leaves her home and gets married to go into an absolute new family. For her partner, a woman often sets standards of morality, inspires him to strive for higher achievements and is a source of emotional support for him. She creates a necessary environment for her male partner to think more about the economic upliftment of family and stands by him through thick and thin. When a woman enters into a new family after marriage, she not just adjusts to the needs of her husband but even her in-laws. She takes care of their basic needs, their health and does chores for them. Her sacrifice of her own freedom in the need to adjust to a new environment, a new family is often taken as a ‘traditional given’ without realizing how challenging this is and rather than welcoming a woman with warmth, there are problems that are first focused on than the contributions done by her. In the end, with all the criticism, a man banks on his wife, mother or sister for comfort, understanding, sympathy and affection.

The reason why I wanted to emphasize and throw light upon the various contributions a woman makes is because there are deliberations, discussions and debates only and always about the negative aspects of a woman’s life but never do people acknowledge what she does or has done for her family. Instead of denying recognition and taking a woman as a server to all the above mentioned contributions, it is high time we give her the due credit for all the selfless deeds she has been doing since the time she comes to this world. And if you think that there is no need to give any credit per say, it is time for us to stop the criticism, the hatred and the misusing of a woman at each step.

Even with the new era coming where there is more acceptance of women and the so-called ‘tolerance’ for women to work by her family. The question arises that why does a woman need any form of permission or permit to work or take singular decisions? Why can she not be considered a master of her own decisions? With each new era, there will be a novel hurdle that she will have to overcome for a woman to live peacefully which is again unfair for a woman who has given an entire lifetime to her family.

Has anyone ever wondered how a woman’s contribution at home or towards family is way more but they are the one’s fighting for their rights, struggling to get a fair share when they are the ones being fair at home and contributing to the fullest without getting anything in return? Even the basic respect they deserve? It is the women who have sustained the growth of society and molded the future of nations. The whole point of this essay is not to demand any form of respect but to stop the criticism and the complaints that exist in a family as well as a society against women despite how much they contribute. In the emerging complex social scenario, women have a key role to play in different sectors. They can no longer be considered as mere harbingers of peace but are emerging as the source of power and symbol of progress which commences right from their contributions towards their own family.